Prescription for a Happy Marriage

Prescription for a happy marriage: one cup of tea orbody clock) a half-hour earlier, you can give yourselves
coffee, to be taken each morning before rising.Soundstime to spend together, uninterrupted. You now have
simple, doesn't it? And yet every year thousands ofthe best part of the day to spend with the person you
couples head for the divorce courts, or makelove!Take it in turns to be the one to get up and make
pre-nuptial agreements in the expectation that thethe tea or coffee, and make it into an occasion by
marriage will fail.One factor contributing to thishaving special mugs or cups that you only use for this
breakdown in relationships is the greater stressfirst cup of the day, or choose a special blend which
caused by uncertainty about job security, financialyou only have in the morning -- better still, make a
worries, political instability and so on. Constant worryherbal tea. Select something light and refreshing so
about money, fear of redundancy and continualthat you'll have a spring in your step when you get
pressure to devote more and more time to work canup.This is your time together -- to natter about nothing
leave a marriage stretched to breaking point.It's noin particular or to make your grand plans. Lying in bed,
co-incidence that the age when most divorces occursipping your tea and knowing you don't have to fly out
is also the age when couples are beset by otherof bed as soon as your eyes open, relaxes you
concerns such as establishing a career, raising andwithout any effort on your part.You don't need to
educating children and paying off a mortgage.Hecticpractice any special breathing techniques, because
Lifestyle Leaves Little Time for Each OtherEven if youyou'll be breathing slowly; you don't need to
feel relatively secure financially, living in the first year ofconcentrate on relaxing different muscle groups -
the new century creates pressures unknown even athey're already relaxed.GETTING UPSometimes, you'll
decade ago.You're now expected to be available tobe so relaxed that you may be tempted to stay just a
the whole world -- 24 hours a day -- via the Internet,few minutes more.Don't do it.Don't spoil the mood
mobile phones, answering machines and lap-topyou've created for yourselves by lying in and then
computers.One of you always seems to be workinghaving to rush through the morning. Your stress levels
late or bringing work home; you feel obliged to givewill go up and you'll be blaming each other for being
your children all the opportunities their friends have solate.Turn on the radio when you wake up and make it
you ferry them to music lessons, sports training andpart of your routine that you get up after a particular
the movies with their pals. As a modern couple, youbroadcast; it's always easier to have an external
also have your individual sport or hobby commitments;trigger like this, and it saves one of you having to be
you may be involved in volunteer work with a charitythe "bad guy" who decides it's time to get up.LASTING
group or the children's school; coaching the basketballBENEFITSBy easing yourself gently into your day, you
team or serving in the school canteen ... and so it goes.avoid a great deal of stress. The extra time you've
And that's not even taking into account running themade not only allows you to spend an extra precious
house, the garden, the menagerie of pets ... and thentime together, it also relaxes you for the day
there's your family and friends ...It seems as if youahead.Whenever you feel yourself getting tense
never have time to draw breath, to slow down, to talkthrough the day, take a deep breath; remember how
to each other.While the causes of the resulting stressrelaxed you felt lying in bed sipping your tea; smile; try
may be largely out of your hands, the way you reactto recapture the actual physical feeling of relaxation
to it is completely up to you. Stress is a bit like steam inand smile again when you realise that you have that
a kettle, it builds up until it finally blows the lid off, unlessspecial time to look forward to again
the pressure is relieved. You can let pressure build uptomorrow!Jennifer Stewart is a freelance writer. She
in your life until you finally "blow your top" or, you canand her husband have been married (to each other)
take positive action to release it.THE EARLYfor 37 years and have two adult children.
MORNING CUPPABy setting your alarm clock (or